Ivy League Students Q&A
How did you decide what to write your college personal essays about?
Audrey, Stanford Student
Great question - I did a lot of brainstorming and received so many different opinions, some of which including: don't write sob stories because someone else has a sadder story than you, don't write something that they can learn from your activities sheet, etc. However, when trying to determine what I could write about most authentically, I decided to write about my great passion at the time: running. I did some free writing exercises about running and ended up tying three episodes together that demonstrated how my love for running defines who I am as a person. My main advice: write about the things that most easily defines you. Someone once said to me, “if you were to put your essays in a pile of 50, someone should be able to pick yours up and guess it's yours because it brings that level of authenticity.”
Alec, Stanford Student
I knew from 9th grade the most impressive extracurricular activity (doing microfinance and starting a non profit after winning a grant) that I pursued throughout high school. When starting to write my essay, I wanted to humanize it. I didn't want it to come off as me bragging or listing accomplishments. I wanted my accomplishments and extracurricular activity to read as a story, shedding light on my character and why it would make me a unique value to add to the university. My college essay showed how my past experiences would make me a successful, empathetic, ambitious, and value-add to not only the university but the world (when graduating). I tied the conclusion to opportunities to continue to engage in my activity in college and beyond and what I want to study.
Zach, Stanford Student
For the common app essay, I began by brainstorming as many ideas as I could for multiple different questions, not thinking about what could be developed or not. After having 10+ broad ideas, I began breaking down what each topic I thought would share about me, and ultimately decided I wanted to show in words how curious I am about the way the world and universe works. Since I was applying to all my schools with the intent to study engineering but no formal engineering experience in high school, demonstrating curiosity about the world was what I thought would highlight something not seen in other aspects of my application. I also wanted to show my humor and closeness to my family, all of which came through in my essay. My ultimate topic ended up describing my fascination with the Fermi Paradox, but this launched from a random discussion with my cousins at Christmas one year, so throughout the essay as I described this complex idea I wove in jokes about learning about Santa as well.
Seba, Stanford Student
I put together this huge list of random stuff I could write about: my most impressive extracurricular, that I love chess, how I became super left leaning coming out of a conservative family, my experiences as a hispanic person in a super white town, that I love gogurts, that my dad is the slowest walker, and I hated that as a kid because I’m a fast walker, to how weird of dreams I always have… hopefully you get the idea. Then I put that aside. I then listed all the essays I would have to write and labeled which one was for which school. Then I grouped essay prompts into ones that I could basically copy and paste the same essay for (ignoring word count). Finally I just started matching essay prompts to brainstorm writing ideas. I prioritized stuff like my most impressive extracurricular and tried to match that to the prompt(s) that would get this topic into every one of my applications. That part was pretty straightforward.
I tried to keep a balance of really out there, creative essays (that went to show something about myself) and really standard “I did this impressive thing” or “I had a moment of growth” essays.
Gaya, Harvard Student
I have to say my method was very much a throw-random-things-on-a-paper-and-write-like- 8-drafts-until-I–got-something-I-could-work-with kind of process. The hardest part for me was understanding the difference between a personable statement that’s about me and who I am vs a description of an activity I did. Mine wasn’t about an activity I did because I had the chance to talk about that elsewhere in my applications and because I found that got me muddled up and talking more about what I did than who I am. And I basically kept doing that until I found a common app prompt that made me not do that. And I usually have a really ramble-y, anecdotal style of telling stories where I usually jump back and forth in timeline and add in an annoying amount of detail so I stuck to that style for my essay and I think that was good for me because then my essay wasn’t a boring read. But yeah, in short I think for me the key was first figuring out what I want to say about myself, second which common app prompt that stuff about myself answers, and third the medium through which I wanted to talk about everything, which for me was cooking.
Trey, Harvard Student
The process of writing my personal essay was actually a super interesting experience. Beginning my sophomore year I thought that I knew exactly what I wanted to write about — my experience being followed in a department store as a black man. At the time it seemed perfect: personal, emotional, and relating to race and social justice, which are topics that I’m passionate about. However, something that my guidance counselor said to me completely changed my perspective. She said, “someone at this school should be able to find your personal essay lying on the ground without your name on it and, after reading, immediately know that the essay belongs to you.” While my department store experience was interesting, it was not unique and it didn’t really say anything about me as a person. Ultimately, I ended up writing about my experience at a summer program being roommates with an ultra-conservative Trump supporter –– the debates we had and what I learned from them. So, this is a very long-winded way of me saying write about something that is unique to you! The essay is one of the few places for your own wonderful personality to shine through, take the opportunity!
Maya, Yale Student
I remember how difficult it was to figure out what to write for my personal essay. I felt frozen by the thought of putting myself into 600 words. Making a list can be the best place to start! Then, going through this list to decide what absolutely MUST be in the essay, or it just wouldn't feel like you. At that point I still had too many topics, as I'm sure you will, but it's really helpful in both the processes of narrowing down ideas and in seeing whether there is some way to connect them all. The latter was the key for me - I realized there was a common thread (my tendency to use fantasy/art to escape rather than face my problems) and organized my essay around that. I managed to include far more than I thought was possible.
I’m wondering how you found the right balance between your academics/work and your social life (in high school and/or college)? Also, if you applied early, how did you know that the school you were applying early to was the right place for you?
Zach, Stanford Student *
For your first question, this may seem like it's easy for me to say after the fact, but I really tried to only do things that I actually enjoyed and knew I had time for. This helped me so much in high school to actually focus on and spend time doing what was really important and interesting to me rather than fluffing an application with time consuming things I did not really find exciting. I also tried to make a lot of the things I did around school part of my social life. For example, a big part of high school for me was being on the swim team, and many of my closest friends came from this group. Towards junior/senior year a lot of my friends and I had similar classes so we could hang out and study then spend time being social. Mixing the idea of a social life with things that you do every day really helps balance the two in my opinion. For your second question, I was lucky that I had wanted to go to my early application since I was 9 years old and got in, so that was kind of a unique experience I think. One way to find out if a school is where you want to be is by talking with students at the schools you are interested in (like this!). They can help give a much better picture of what it is actually like than online info or tours. Happy to answer more with any follow up questions you have!
Montanna, Stanford Student *
It begins with having an understanding for what you love to do. Always make time for what makes you happy. If you have to sit down and make a list of things you love/goals you have, then do so! For me, it was important to emphasize academics but my roommate in high school didn't have the same priorities. She's a growing music producer and for her, it made more sense to spend hours working on music than to spend hours studying, and that's OK. But our priorities were the same: to work hard and meet our own expectations in things that make us happy, so we often worked together albeit on different things. The second way to balance that I still struggle with today is to not do things just because some friend/friends want to. It's the fastest way to overextend yourself. You don't have to align social time and academic time or extracurricular (even if it seems more efficient). Your time is valuable, and all that will lead you to is exploring someone else's passion. Take time to ask yourself why do I want to do this, does it interest or excite ME? Be unapologetically selfish with your things you do, develop your own passions not someone else's. It'll also make those moments when you donate your time to others more meaningful. To your second question, I would talk to as many current students at the college as possible (and not students associated with the admissions team). I applied early to Stanford having never stepped foot on campus. I personally think tours are fun and info sessions are monotonous, but neither is really going to tell you about the core of the school either because adults don't know or the kids are on their payroll (speaking as a stanford tour guide). Even better if you can find an alum from your high school who is attending. The second piece of advice is to research schools between your college counselor/trusted advisor and yourself. Your parents also have an agenda. Lastly, don't be afraid to be superficial. The reality is that you'll get a phenomenal education at so many schools so look beyond that. I crossed off schools for being in the northeast like who cares. You're the one who's going to be living there. I also wanted a campus, I wanted access to outdoor space, I wanted warm weather, I wanted sports teams that I wouldn't feel embarrassed supporting. That crosses off a lot of schools. Who cares, it's four years of your life. Maximize your happiness e.g. I personally knew that a Chicago winter would make me miserable.
Benjamin, Stanford Student
To add on to the two points above, it’s completely ok to not have a clear idea of what you love/don’t love in high school! I didn’t find my passions until midway through my junior year, and only then did my social life combine with my academic interests. This is more a personal opinion/hot take, but I’m also a firm believer in the fact that social experiences stimulate intellectual vitality more than any academic experience can, especially at the high school level. That’s my long winded way of saying that you should never feel bad for prioritizing time with friends from time to time. I’m not encouraging slacking off, but sometimes there’s a bit of a stigma around having any downtime when you’re a top student. As for applying early: location, size, and desired field of study can be some of the easiest ways to eliminate schools off the bat. It’s a bit lower stakes if you’re applying early action (EA) vs early decision (ED, binding), so if you’re applying ED somewhere, definitely make sure you’d go there over any other school on your list.
Maya, Yale Student
However you decide to spend your time, the key is to commit to it. What I mean by that is, I would often feel guilty choosing to do academic work instead of going out, or choosing to go out instead of doing academic work - but guilt puts you in a lose-lose situation. Whatever choice you make on a given day, let yourself make the most of the decision you've made! I wasted a lot of time (and still struggle) thinking: maybe I should have stayed home? OR maybe I should have gone out? And then you don't even enjoy yourself. As for applying early: I find location the easiest way to narrow things down. Having either a rural, towny, or urban experience is VERY different from one another and far more predictable than whether you will like one school newspaper, for instance, over another one.
Lauren, Princeton Student
One thing that I've found has helped me balance the demands of academics/extracurriculars with having a social life is by making school and extracurriculars part of my social life. So for instance, I'm on the crew team and that is a very demanding time commitment but every day when I get to go to practice I think of that time as a fun activity that I get to do with some of my best friends instead of thinking of it as an extracurricular that I have to balance against other things. For academics, I was really intentional about making friends in my classes and forming study groups (in both high school and college) which then allowed me to enjoy school and work more. I think the best advice I can give is make whatever you spend your time on enjoyable and don't waste time doing things that aren't worth it. Don't join activities just to join, but find things and people who make what you invest your time in fun and try to be that person too!
Lauren, Princeton Student
I applied early to Princeton and was accepted there and to be honest I didn't know if it was the right place for me. I first heard of Princeton in October of my senior year of high school and then committed to a coach there less than three weeks later. I wasn't officially accepted until December but in whole I had really three weeks to make that decision. I came from a community that didn't really send people to college and had very little knowledge of different universities so I was nervous that I didn't know enough about Princeton to make that kind of decision. But, one thing did strike me when I visited the campus, it was one of maybe two schools that I visited that I felt comfortable at. I visited about 7 different schools for recruiting which I was very fortunate to do, and lots of schools were fun, exciting, new, but only two made me feel relaxed and comfortable. That was important to me because it meant that I felt accepted and like I belonged at school. I know that it is hard to visit schools right now, but trying to get a feel for how you would fit in is a great place to start. Asking questions like: do my goals align with the programs here, do I feel like the student body are people with similar outlooks (not interests) as me, are there groups I am excited to be a part of....etc etc...
Gaya, Harvard Student
Honestly I think work life balance has been a struggle for me because I feel like at school and college both the people I work with (predominantly for extracurriculars) are also some of my closest friends. I just tend to make my closest friends through clubs. I realized earlier on that I will miss a few social things and while I can have a perfectly normal and fulfilling social life I just can’t go to every single thing and I will feel a bit of fomo initially but it will be okay. Once that happened it became way easier to figure out what social activities I’m genuinely interested in and what I’m not. Also, I’m a big fan of entering my whole life into my Google calendar so if I’m meeting a friend I work with I will specify whether this is or is not a work meeting. With regard to picking schools I personally took a much more passive approach because I really felt like I’d be happy at every single school on my list so it was more see where I get in and find my place there rather than find a perfect fit because I truly feel like multiple places fell under that category. I ended up getting into the place I applied early to and I wasn’t really sure it was the place for me until I actually got to campus and found my friends early on and then it all just fell into place… I’m not sure if you’re applying to Oxbridge or doing the UCAS, I personally did not because I knew I wanted the flexibility of taking classes in various subject areas and then choosing a major that the US provides rather than having to pick and stick to one subject for the UK. Once I knew I was only applying to schools in America the most important thing was academics and opportunities for research (which you can usually find info about on the college’s website but if not we’d be happy to help you find those resources). One other factor I used to eliminate a few schools on my list was proximity to a city, it was less “I want to go to XYZ school because it is in Palo Alto” and more “I honestly couldn’t see myself at ABC school because there’s nothing around it for miles and miles.” I also knew I really wanted that campus feel that some schools in very large cities (like NYU for example) may not have.
Can you please go over what semester vs trimester means?
Audrey, Stanford Student
Stanford is on the quarter system which means that the year is divided into 4 rather than 2 (there is less time within each quarter, consequently). Stanford has four quarters (fall, winter, spring, summer) that are each 10 weeks. Whereas Yale, Harvard, Penn etc are on a semester system with fall semester and then winter/spring semester. This means that Stanford moves at a 'faster pace' because each class occurs in a shorter amount of time. I personally LOVE the quarter system bc I can take so many more classes and I am a fast moving person so I like that it moves at such a fast pace.
What would you have done differently going into senior year? Is there anything you wish you'd known sooner rather than later? Also, if I'm applying with the intention of majoring in poli-sci, what are some ways I can stand out in my application? What types of things (all round) could we be doing to make our app stand out from other students and make us look more unique?
Will, Harvard Student
I’d say the biggest thing I wish I’d done going into senior year of high school was take some time to really appreciate my friendships and my high school experience, since I didn’t realize how fast it would zoom away once I graduated. For your second question, I would say you could make your app stand out by just thinking deeply about what exactly draws you to poli-sci, and then connecting that field to your personal life in writing your applications. If you do this, schools will trust that you will be successful in that field. In general, authenticity and honesty is hard to come by in the college process, and it will really benefit you to focus on those things.
Trey, Harvard Student
Live in the moment! During most of my senior year I couldn’t wait to finish school and move on to college, and it’s want until the last few months that I realized how much I’d miss the place I went to school from 7th-12th grade. So really, cherish every moment! To answer your second question, highlight anything that you’ve done either in school or over the summer that relates to politics or government. I also intended to do poli-sci going into college so I made sure to focus on my time working as a Senate Page. I also made sure to take as many political-related classes during my senior year and worked my hardest to do really well in those classes.
Zach, Stanford Student
Try to savor a lot of the fun things you love about high school and enjoy being in the moment. I think by the end of winter/spring of senior year it hit me that I’d be leaving in just a few months so I tried to say yes to more things (but not overkill myself) and go on spontaneous adventures/social things with friends. I would also say to try and enjoy being with as many people as you can and have an open mind to even starting new relationships. Doing more random things and hanging out with people I didn’t know super well led me to finding some of the closest people I know from home since going to college. This is also easy to say after the fact, but don’t stress over the small things! I’m sure you’ve heard over and over that one bad test or an embarrassing moment won’t mean anything after high school, and it’s honestly so true. There were definitely some things I cared too much about or worried about that just wasn’t worth the time of day. It’s definitely something I still have to practice, but the better you get at it the more time you’ll have for being happy and doing fun stuff.
Lauren, Princeton Student
I recently graduated from Princeton majoring in Political Science which was my intent when I applied, it's a great choice in major, can't recommend enough!! But, to be honest that wasn't a very large part of my application. If a big part of your application relates to wanting to major in politics (i.e volunteering on campaigns, student government, model un, working with local government, etc..) then you should hype that up and relate it to your intended major. But, if your application doesn't naturally gravitate towards that then just focus on your strengths and make them shine through. Lots of students apply not knowing what they are going to major in or end up changing their majors so don't stress about including it! Have to agree with Will, Trey, and Zach—standing out is more of an outcome of being really true to yourself and your journey in your app (especially essays) rather than an intentional goal because I feel like when you set out to stand out you end up with little bit of manufactured story that admissions committees know all too well. I ended up requesting my admissions file which you can do at most colleges to see what notes they took on my app and they mentioned something along the lines of “this is not the classic hard charging app we see from this region (I’m an international student) and doesn’t seem like it was created for us.” @Rosie Yanowitch I think this partially answers your question too… On a related note, there are a couple things I wish I knew my senior year:
1) An application essay written after an “aha” moment a few hours before the deadline isn’t necessarily a good one. It’s important to explore different essay ideas to avoid throwing together an essay last minute because you want to be intentional and careful about this process… luckily when I did this I had a whole month to work on my essay because my school set an internal deadline (October 1st) for early apps which in hindsight was a great idea. I looked through the first draft of that essay I wrote at 1:00AM and every time I do I’m grateful I didn’t submit that as is.
2) When writing my applications I think I had a lot of opinions on what I should and shouldn’t do (whether I asked for advice or not). Between my mom, dad, brother, cousin, school college counselor and a random uncle I just felt like I was wasting time listening to other people fight about what should or shouldn’t go in rather than deciding things for myself which I ended up doing anyway. Perhaps this is not a relatable problem but just trust your gut when you encounter a lot of different opinions about your application and in particular your essays.
3) Enjoy! I was 17 and graduating from the same school I had been at for 14 years. I wish I hadn’t been so serious until December of 2018 when I had written my last application. It may have honestly even helped me be a bit more productive and engaged while doing college apps…
Hope this is helpful, sorry I have zero expertise about poli-sci but a good piece of advice I received was to highlight how consistent you have been at excelling and participating in a particular interest or subject which for me was psych related but for you sounds like it’d be poli-sci.
What is a myth about the college admissions process that you would want to dispel for rising juniors/seniors? What do you think is important with regards to one’s approach, intention, and perspective throughout this time?
Zach, Stanford Student
In my opinion, I really think it’s a myth that more is always better. It’s definitely good to show things you do that you spend time doing, but fluffing an application with clubs you’re in and going to one event a year I don’t think truly helps you. You want to show you do things and that you don’t just lay in bed all day, but at a certain point doing too much has no added benefit, and may actually hurt you (think of it as it doesn’t show what you’re really passionate about if you do everything just a tiny bit) One good mindset that helped me and friends a lot is trying not to stress after applications are submitted. Hopefully, by the time apps are submitted, it’s your honest best work that you can show to a school. After that, all the work is out of your hands! Related to this, one of my teachers told us this thing after decisions came out and we were all dealing with different rejections and it had stuck with me ever since: “think of a college like a band. Every year, some members of the band may leave, but only certain instruments. So one year, the band may need a tuba, but say you’re a saxophone player. While you would likely be a great fit for the band, that year they are really looking for tubas”. Essentially, at a lot of schools you could apply with the same application 10 years in a row and maybe get in some and not others, you just never know what they really look for that year. Knowing this, I found it easier to not over stress about decisions and move past certain rejections
Audrey, Stanford Student
It’s so obvious when people add experience to their resume that it is disingenuous. Stay true to yourself!!!
Lauren, Princeton Student
Basically, I was taught in high school to be a well-rounded applicant which in the eyes of my guidance counselor meant being okay at a bunch of things and not really good at anything. I was a busy highschooler for sure, but I spent my time on a handful of activities that I really enjoyed and that I could then write passionately about on my application instead of spending my time between activities that I couldn't put forth a good effort in. I know other students at my college that were amazing at one specific thing and that helped them on their applications, and then I know students like myself who were good at two or three things, but I honestly don't know anyone who was just busy with a lot of things. Schools are looking to build well-rounded student bodies and that means finding individuals that are skilled at one or two things instead of a bunch of well-rounded individuals. I suggest thinking of the things you are really good at and the things you really enjoy doing and find ways to make that shine on your application.
What advice would you give someone going into college with an undecided major and what strategies would you give to them to help figure out which to choose?
Gaya, Harvard Student
My understanding is you’re asking how you go about choosing a major when you have no clue/too many things to choose from. I went in thinking I’d go to med school for psychiatry, then began thinking I’d do grad school psychology and get into academia and have ended up intending to declare Mind Brain Behavior (an integrative neuroscience, linguistics, CS, and psychology major that colleges have started offering). What really helped me was identifying things I find interesting before the start of freshman fall and taking a bunch of intro classes / general education or requirement classes in different areas to see if I even like studying them. After that it was a lot of eliminating things that I didn’t want to do (like medical school). It also helped that my college requires me to take 4 classes across a variety of fields. Those were great starting points for me because that way I was still fulfilling a requirement I had rather than using up an elective. Academic advisors and professors within possible majors can also be very useful to talk to (I don’t think you lose anything by reaching out especially if you’re taking their class or interacting with them another way).
Audrey, Stanford Student
I think staying open minded is key - I'd give myself the space year 1 to explore different areas and not only take a class but try to really get to know a department. What are other students like in this major? What are the professors like? What type of research do they do? What career tracks do they take after that? But giving yourself year 1 to explore is key and making sure you explore thoughtfully so you’re not just giving yourself a surface level view but a comprehensive deep dive.
Maya, Yale Student
I entered college completely undecided, and keeping an open mind. I am really happy I let myself use my first year (and pretty much all of second year because I'm indecisive) to try things out. It made me realize that I did not want to go into academia or go to grad school, which clarified my school path a lot. However, the downside of taking as long as I did was that it limited my options. So I would recommend making a decision once you complete your first year if possible. One thing that helped me narrow it down was asking myself: do I want my major to be a big part of my college experience or not. Because different majors have different requirements. I ended up choosing a major with minimal requirements so that I could also choose a minor!
1) keep an open mind
2) be aware of what majors you would need to start early on because as time passes they might become unavailable to you and
3) if your school offers minors or certificates that's worth keeping in mind, since some majors have more requirements than others
Zach, Stanford Student
I think directly talking to the professors in classes you try out, or even ones you haven't taken yet, can help get a feel for what the major is like and what options are to do with it. I learned a lot from talking with them about what majors are like as you get more in depth and a lot of the broader career paths that different majors best set you up for.
What is something you wish you had considered when you were deciding what schools to apply to, especially early? Alternatively, what is something that you are glad you considered? What is something you don’t think was necessary to consider?
Will, Harvard Student
When deciding what schools to apply to, I went on gut impressions from visiting in person. I’m really glad I did that, because I think the environment of a school (the look and feel) has a big impact on how successful someone will be there. I also considered the strength of the departments that I was considering majoring in (for me, English and philosophy departments). That turned out to be good too, since I felt supported and challenged by the departments that I ended up in. Something I wish I had considered more was the social environment. If you have even a small inclination that you might want to partake in the partying/nightlife of a school, it’s really important to look at the social cultures of different schools and determine which one seems healthy for you. I have friends who definitely feel alienated by the frat/sorority cultures at their schools, and that’s no good! That said, I think everyone finds their own way socially in college, and you don’t need to get too caught up in thinking about the “dominant” social scene at a school, because most people find their own niche.
Audrey, Stanford Student ***
I think people don’t know what to look for or what factors to consider and I wish someone took the time to break that all down for me...
1) campus size, 2) campus culture, 3) research university vs not, 4) typical extracurricular involvement, 5) pre professional school vs not, 6) school housing situation, 7) typical career paths out of the school, 8) off campus opportunity (are there things to do and explore nearby or not?)...
Then I would’ve recommended answering what I want for each of these things after breaking down the components that define a school. That would’ve made it a lot easier to approach the college process and make choices that felt intentional ! A lot of people get carried away by names and reputations but don’t truly think about where they’d be happiest. But mostly, I’m trying to emphasize that you need to think of the types of things that define your happy place and the place that will bring out the best in you as a holistic human being - what type of people? What are they most passionate about ? How do you spend your weekends/free time? What’s the culture? What’s off campus that will be exciting for me or do you not intend to go off campus ? Write these answers independently and THEN evaluate the schools. I’m glad I did think about where people at my school typically ended up because I wanted to go somewhere that wasn’t dominated by kids from my home (nyc) and a place where I could really challenge myself. So, honestly confronting the situation of those in proximity to me was helpful!
Maya, Yale Student
Due to my situation, I found myself without much choice and chose my school based on financial aid. Whether or not you will be on financial aid, that is something I have struggled with and I have seen my peers struggle with - those on financial aid like me, and those from well-off backgrounds who simply pay tuition. This is because every school has a very unique financial policy (I'm talking not just scholarship but also housing, meals, etc.) That is worth considering because it can honestly be difficult to understand and can blindside a lot of people... emphasis on the housing policies!
Gaya, Harvard Student
Something I should have thought about more was structure in that different schools have different levels of academic structure in that on the one hand you have schools like Columbia who have a very very rigoureuse core curriculum with many requirements and on the other hand you have schools like Brown with open curriculums where you have only a writing competency requirement (I think). The reason I say this is because one would have been too much structure for me and one would have been too little for me and while requirements also vary between majors, I have found it very easy to plan my academics because I really ended up needing some general education requirements so that I could try enough fields of study to actual find my major but not too many that I would find it burdensome.
Zach, Stanford Student
For schools that were near where I lived and I had the chance to visit, I always tried to listen to my gut feeling walking off a campus if it was somewhere I would be excited to return to. There were a few schools I visited that I almost was forcing myself to try to love it because of the name or if other people I knew loved it, but I ultimately would do my best (and it's hard sometimes) to trust my gut instinct on if I would really want to be excited about returning to that school as an actual student. If you are able and have the means, visiting schools definitely can provide a different experience than online research. There were a few campuses that I just felt so happy and excited on while others felt like a chore to go see. Another thing for me that was important just to throw it out there was the athletics at the schools. I grew up in a family and environment that loves sports, so it was super important to me to find a school with solid athletics and lots of teams so I could go to all the competitions I could.
Currently, I’m going through the college application process and I was wondering how you made sure you didn’t get overwhelmed? What did you find helpful in de-stressing during the process? And what did you find helped you stay positive?
Kilando, Harvard Student
My college application process was a bit unique because I didn't really experience the stress that most other students who apply to college experienced. I think this was due to a number of factors, but the most important was the positivity I kept during the college app process. As a first generation student with a pretty decent GPA, test scores, and ok extracurriculars, I knew that I would go somewhere for college, and that in itself felt like an immense privilege to me. I feel as though many students fail to recognize that going to college is not just an opportunity but a liberty that not everyone can attain. For me, when I stopped seeing college as a future necessity and viewing it as a gift that others in my family and history could not enjoy, I was able to find the college app process fruitful and enlightening. Further, I reminded myself continuously of something one of my lab mates told me my junior year of high school: 'no matter where you go you're going to get a good education.' For me, and other students whose high school careers were focused on attending elite and Ivy League Institutions, getting into that fancy school was the stressor. But when I recognized all schools were unique in their respective ways, my anxiety levels subsided slightly. I even began looking up student accomplishments from schools in my area to remind myself that perseverance and hard work are not limited to the confines of a particular school but to the mind and body of an individual. So my advice to you is to remember you will get an amazing education and that you will accrue success. If you must, talk to people or read stories from college students at an array of colleges from various walks of life. They are truly inspiring. The main takeaway is that you will be inspiring and the college app process is just one step in many to becoming the inspiration you are meant to be. Other than that, enjoy your last few days of high school by spending time with friends, treating yourself, buying a stress ball, and finding your passion. Get lost in the amazingness of the world around you!
Maya, Yale Student
College is not THE future, it is just a part of a very long, winding future. And high school - your present - is so precious. I realized that while I was in high school, but as I'm approaching the end of college, and as my younger sister is about to begin high school, I'm seeing that it was a special time for more reasons than I could ever have comprehended back then. Do the best you can, do what you need to do to be secure, set yourself up for success and happiness, but understand that success and happiness - as well as their foundations - look like a million and one different scenarios. College is only the beginning!
Gaya, Harvard Student
I think the pressure for me (internally, at home, at school) to go to only a certain category of schools was very high and the combination of a very competitive high school and being an international student made that seem unattainable. For good or bad, I set very low expectations so that I wouldn’t be disappointed with a rejection from a school I applied to. This was a double edged sword because I could have used a bit of a confidence boost but ultimately ended up being protective. While I don’t recommend telling yourself something won’t happen and not believing in yourself, I think there’s something to be said about being realistic about where you stand and about the statistics of admissions rates so that you don’t end up too fixated on one particular school (like your early app school) and won’t be paralyzed or believe your life is over if one particular school doesn’t admit you. My school college counselor has a 24 hour rule, where if you get rejected you can cry, kick, and scream for 24 hours and then must move on which I personally have mixed feelings about but some kids found it helpful.
Also burnout was a thing during application season and I made sure to not skip out on two activities that brought me immeasurable joy: walking my dog and cooking.
Zach, Stanford Student
In terms of directly not being overwhelmed, one of the key things for me was starting early and doing as much as I could in summer. When classes start in the fall, it is SO hard to want to work on college apps. Thinking about it now will even help you so much, but if you can make a huge dent in the work for it before school starts this fall it will literally be the greatest thing you can do. For day to day stuff, I was super strict with myself to really only apply to schools I would actually want to go to if I got in. This helped narrow down the overall number I had to be as efficient as possible in the process. When going through application questions, copy and paste every single question into a doc (in whatever organization works for you - I had one doc per school, some do one doc for everything, there's more) then try to see if any get at similar themes/topics. Recycling essay ideas or sometimes the entire essay itself word for word can be a huge time saver. Finally, this can be hard to say, but try to enjoy the process as much as you can. In my experience the college app process makes you very introspective and reflect on your past 17-18 years of life in a way you likely have never done before, and this was super cool for me. I found thinking about some essay questions and writing different prompts taught me a lot about myself and who I am really as a person. If you can find some enjoyment in this process of discovery, it makes the work go by much easier. I know it can be hard to imagine that the college app process has “fun” parts, but I learned to embrace and enjoy some parts of it and it helped me a lot.
Lauren, Princeton Student
I certainly sympathize with the application process being incredibly stressful for no real reason at all. In my case, I was a first gen student who was trying to get recruited for lightweight rowing which is a process that begins the winter of your junior year and ends early senior fall. I was lucky to not be balancing applications with senior year, but instead had a more drawn out process that I had to balance with major exams. I can't say that I found ways to destress or that I wasn't overwhelmed. I found myself hysterically crying to my parents several times throughout the process, almost quit entirely before I visited the university that I ended up attending, and even when I got the notice that I had an offer for Princeton I burst into tears that we would never be able to afford a school like that (which I was wrong their financial aid is seriously a gift from god). Reflecting on that experience the biggest advice I would give is to not sell yourself short. Chances are you're a great applicant and you just need to focus on framing yourself well. As Zach has mentioned, by the time you are a senior in hs you've put in the work and shouldn't worry about the things you can't change now. Instead, I suggest focusing on the ways that you are an awesome applicant and don't be afraid to hype yourself up. Don't overthink the applications but instead just remember that it is a way to highlight the best parts of yourself, which isn't that bad of a task. Other than that, I really recommend enjoying time with your high school friends, something I regret neglecting. And even leaning on them during this time because you are all going through this together!
I always hear that the college application process is extremely stressful and overwhelming. How were you able to relax and avoid being overwhelmed? Also, there are so many colleges in the US, how did you decide which ones to apply to?
Maya, Yale Student
In my experience, there is going to be some stress no matter what - but I would break it down like this. Two keys to not over-stressing:
1) Remembering what is in your control and what is not. You can only get a score so high, you can only edit an essay so many times - and, once an application is in, there's very little point in continuing to think about it.
2) Is more of a mindset and might falter at times, but it's worth reminding yourself - you WILL end up where you're meant to. You just will. Life is crazy, and the pandemic has made things even crazier. But life is truly what you make of it - there are kids at their dream schools who are miserable and kids at their last choice having the best time of their lives - and vice versa. While I still stressed a bit over things that weren't under my control, I genuinely believed that I would end up where I was meant to - whether that meant college or a job - and that kept me calm throughout the whole process.
As for narrowing things down, I'm a big supporter of doing so by location. Your school environment (distance from home and whether it is rural, suburban, or urban) is one of the few things that are more or less up to you/under your control. Once you've asked yourself: do I want to be far from home? Do I want to go to restaurants? Do I want to study by a lake? Will warm weather year round distract me? Will cold weather make me antisocial? ... I found picturing things this way made narrowing down far easier.
Finally, enjoy your sophomore year!! I did not think about college (at all!) until summer before my junior year. Sophomore year was probably my favorite year of high school.
Zach, Stanford Student
Know that the college app process is different for every person, so the experience of one may not be yours! Also, many people I know who had stressful experiences did so because they worked on apps to the last minute, so if you can start early (late summer before senior year is a great time to start in my opinion), it will help space out the work. For colleges, I knew the general field I wanted to study, so I began by only looking at schools that had the programs I wanted. This immediately helped narrow down ideas I had. Then a huge driving factor for me was the school culture. I trusted that wherever I ended up school was still school and my academic experience would be positive almost anywhere, so the vibe and culture of the student body was super important to me. I did not want to be at a school that is known for being competitive and super cut-throat, so this narrowed down choices. Finding things like this that may be one small aspect of a school but is important to you will help you whittle down the many many choices.
Benjamin, Stanford Student
I’ve found that a lot of the stress/nerves of college applications come from competitive high school environments where people feel that they need to go to X school to be viewed as successful. So don’t feel the need to overshare! The process can be as private as you’d like, and I personally didn’t share college details with any of my friends. I found that this generally kept me out of trouble. If you have a passion or field which you’re eager to study, that can help narrow your schools down in addition to the points mentioned above. If you consider size, location, “vibes,” and majors while you make your list, you should be left with a pretty solid amount of schools that don't feel overwhelming to you. Meditate! I’m big into meditation, and even just 5 minutes a day can really help you feel better about the college process/general life problems. Feel free to DM me about that though.
Trey, Harvard Student
I think the first thing to understand is that no matter what, there’s going to be stress involved with the college application process. It’s a pretty big decision and that’s okay. Accepting the reality of stress is actually helpful in not becoming overwhelmed. Second, I think it’s important to keep everything in perspective. While college admission is important it is not the end of the world. If you don’t get into your dream college — that’s okay! College is really what you make of it and the best part is the friends that you make. I found that very helpful to keep in mind during my admissions process.
What was the most valuable skill you learned in high school that helped you be successful once you got into college? How do I know if I'm doing the right things (athletics, arts, etc.) during high school that makes me standout or gives me an edge when applying to college?
Gaya, Harvard Student
Hey Natalie! I think there can be a lot of pressure to do the “right” activities or to invest time, energy, and money in extracurriculars that look good on paper but the truth is that they all can. Frankly college admissions committees don’t come across a lot that they haven’t heard of before and are very very good at telling if someone is doing an activity because they genuinely engage with it or because they thought it looked good. Also I believe that college applications are inherently intended to be marketing yourself to colleges and it’s almost a bit easier to market when you actually believe in the product… I hope that makes sense!
Maya, Yale Student
The thing I learned in high school that has carried me through college is to do what you love. You will be better at it, more committed, and healthier at the end of the day. Long term commitments tend to be more rewarding than short term ones, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't take the time in high school to try new things that you may or may not stick to! I also agree with Gaya - colleges have seen and heard everything. Whether or not you stand out has less to do with what you do and more to do with how you FEEL about what you do, and a little bit of luck, too.
